In Loving Memory of Neelam Khaki
Community Organizer, Peaceful Families Taskforce · API Chaya
April 11, 2026
(Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi raji’un: It is to Allah we belong and it is to Him we return)
Neelam Khaki was a woman of quiet power, extraordinary purpose, and transformative vision. She was, in the truest sense, someone who left this world better than she found it.
Neelam joined API Chaya in 2013 as Coordinator of the Peaceful Families Taskforce, a role she inherited and inhabited with unmatched depth and devotion for the rest of her life. Before her arrival to us, she volunteered as a helpline counselor at Lifewire supporting survivors of domestic violence and later served as a Court Appointed Special Advocate for children in dependency proceedings. She was also a member of the Washington Gender-Based Violence Prevention Collaborative, and served on the board for the Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence & Sexual Assault.
During her time at API Chaya, Neelam steered the Peaceful Families Taskforce with a singular core vision: to separate cultural misbelief from Islamic teaching and to show that a faith tradition that upholds the dignity and protection of every person has no room for violence. As she wrote: “A peaceful family is an Islamic tradition.” She dedicated her life to using faith as her modality. She centered survivors, educated families around violence prevention, and helped Muslim communities realign their understanding of harm through the lens of their Qur’anic values. What made her work so rare was her ability to challenge people in a way that still reached them. She built deep rapport with Imams and community leaders, speaking difficult truths with a disarming blend of gentleness and conviction that made real transformative change possible. She focused on preventing violence through initiatives like the “Bonds of Kinship” program—an intergenerational, research-based curriculum conducted in mosques, Islamic centers, Sunday schools, and premarital classes—as well as “A New Beginning,” a support group for Muslim women navigating life after divorce, and “The Best of You,” a men’s leadership group grounded in a domestic violence prevention framework. She was also developing a grief sensitivity workshop for Muslim women, a program born from her own experience of loss and her witnessing of others’ grief with no communal space to hold it. It was, like so much of her work, a project that arose from love: she saw a need and she moved toward it.
She was, in the words of a colleague, “somebody who found such joy and meaning in this work.”She was soft-spoken and immovable. She was patient and precise. She never raised her voice, and yet she could reach the most resistant of hearts. She walked along survivors supporting them to transform in the aftermath of survival. She softly challenged leaders who had never before been asked to look inward.
As much as she was a trailblazer, she was also a deeply curious lifelong student. She was always searching for new modalities, always asking how she could do more and do it better. She cherished conversations about spirituality, grief, faith, and the afterlife. She was a deeply intellectual and reserved person. Yet when she was able to go deep, her light would visibly shine. She loved to write and she privately wrote poetry: a quiet gift she gave herself as a way to move through the weight of the work and reflect on life.
She was deeply introspective and she used that inner life to shape how she treated people, designed her curricula, and organized her community. Neelam was able to serve as a conduit to people’s relationship with God through transforming the way we talk about prevention and survivorship. It was a remarkable and rare gift to see her truly be in her values.
Neelam is survived by her four children (Zain, Imaan, Aamena, and Saif) and her extended family. Those who saw her with her children describe the same qualities that defined her work: boundless patience and consistent love. Sarah Rizvi, a longtime API Chaya leader and founder of our Peaceful Families Taskforce Program, recruited Neelam into the position after working with her as a community volunteer. She remarked, “In working with her, I was always amazed by how much she accomplished, all while being an incredible mother to the wonderful children she raised and an active, devoted member of her community. Now, in the wake of her passing, I realize I was only seeing a small tip of a great iceberg.”
The loss of Neelam is a profound one. She believed in so much possibility. And yet, the seeds she planted in survivors, in families, in Imams, and in our communities will continue to grow. Neelam didn’t just support others through her programs or her rigor. She embodied the transformative power of what it means to truly walk alongside survivors and to love them in their full humanity.
We will miss Neelam deeply and remember her always. May she rest in peace.